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Marriage is Not Meant to Make You Happy – It is Only You Who Can Do That!


When we imagine getting married, we get caught by this illusion of being happy by letting a person enter our life, and thinking that everything will be alright once we are married.

Watching all those movies and romantic stuff, we somewhere still live in a world of a prince and princess where they two get married and live happily ever after. In reality, this is not the case because it is not a 2 hours movie; it is about years and years of living together and handling each other every moment.

Individuals generally have these unrealistic expectations that when they don’t get fulfilled in real life, they end up getting hurt. When getting married to the other person, we consider him as a wizard that would change our lives for the better, having the magic potion that would fix all our wounds and make us forget any bad thing ever happened.

But do we ever realize that we are expecting so much from the other person? Do we realize why it is his responsibility to fix us? And when everyone comes with their emotional baggage and traumas from the past, how would they be able to repair you?

That is why it is our work only to repair ourselves, fix what is broken inside us, and come up as a more conscious person.

Those marriages are successful in which two people understand their responsibilities for each other and expect what is realistically possible. People who have worked on themselves, recognized their flaws, and feel strong enough to stay dedicated to the other person, only those people make a healthy couple and a marriage matching of harmony.

Those who get married just for the sake of society, and they haven’t realized their disturbing behavior patterns end up hurting each other. In the worst cases, they end up having toxic relationships and even a divorce.

Marriage is a full-time job where you give your whole to the other person. It is a lifelong commitment to staying present for that other person mentally, spiritually, physically, and in every aspect. Marriage doesn’ take work, it takes you as a person, and it makes you frustrated, lost, disappointed, and so on.

But then you may be thinking that why should I even get married. Well, the answer varies from person to person; some want a lifelong companionship, some do it for a family, and some people get married because everyone else gets married.

But in the end, it is all worth it. Because in return, you get a person who is there for you in all goods and bads. You get a person to cherish the life with, share all your secrets with and get their secrets too, you know someone is waiting for you at home, there is someone who admires your flaws, who steals glances even when you are not in your best looks, and there is someone whom you are in love with, and that person loves you too.

And if it is not worth it, then couples do fight, and they do get separated.

So, the point is, you have to be happy by yourself without burdening the other with your unrealistic expectations. Marriage is the most harmonious when we don’t expect anything in return and believe in giving while setting healthy boundaries, of course.

Remember that there is no greater teacher than your partner because when every fight happens, there is a reason behind it. Marriage lets you know your mistakes to work on those flaws and become a better person, not to repeat the same mistake twice.

Marriage even teaches us more than our heartbreaks because two people are still together, which means they would make mistakes and learn from them continuously. Marriage helps you fight your old beliefs that don’t work in the real world, and it helps you see clearly through your mentality what you are doing wrong, and what you should do instead.

So, don’t get married because you want to be a happy person; marry because you want to grow as a person and want your partner to grow along. Don’t burden them, but be a mentor to each other in this journey of life.


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